It’s coming to my mind this evening to share a portion of the remembrance I spoke this October to those gathered to celebrate my brother. Peter’s life ended abruptly in August of 2020. While working at a wildland fire in Southern CA, heat, isolation of COVID, and years of breathing smoke converged to take his life suddenly and unexpectedly. The shock of learning of his death knocked my legs out from under me. I did not know how to stand up, or breath without wailing. 

We were unable to gather then or for some time after due to COVID restrictions or devastating wildfires, as well as distance of family members. We finally gathered a little less than a month ago to finally memorialize him and celebrate the marvelous man we had known and loved. 

When I was writing down what I wanted to say, these thoughts came to me and bear repeating here and now:

 

Grief is a lonely “i”

“It came to me the other day that grief is a lonely “I” encapsulated in a small word. 

“When I was able to get to Peter’s home a couple of weeks after he died, I found a faded and stained t-shirt of Peter’s. The faint words on it said: “GRANT US PEACE AS THE EARTH IS QUIET WITH MORNING” Morning walks were one of the best times with Peter. But ever since finding the shirt I think of morning with a u.

“What was missing from my isolation with grief was the U in mourning. YOU includes the community of connection that come together here to keep Peter’s spirit alive in sharing our loss together.”

I continued with a reference to a passage Peter had underlined in his World Religions textbook from the one year he attended college: 

A great treasure can only be found in one place

“Peter loved exploring this home of his eastern Sierra constantly looking for and finding treasures. So this piece stood out to me: “There is something that can only be found in one place. It is a great treasure which may be called the fulfillment of existence. The place where this treasure can be found is the place on which one stands.” 

Peter took many stands for himself, for nature, for Community, his neighbors, and his family. So if Peter is to live on he lives on in the radical amazement each of us who knew him carry within and find wherever we are standing.”

His legacy inspires me to take a stand. Where we take a stand for the protection of others, for nature, for the health and well-being of our families, friends, neighbors and communities, there we will find a treasure that will fulfill our existence.

When we are jolted into grief, we may feel isolated. We need to join together in mourning our loss and choose together to take a stand for what is most pure and true and loving and caring in our world. 

Sharing is essential to caring

Then we must remember to share the treasure we find with those who are hungry for a treasure that will bring them the fulfillment of their existence.